Thursday, April 28, 2011

Altered Book swap #9

Greetings Everyone,
Last wednesday my Altered book group had our 9th swap.  This time I had Anne's book which was called "Road trip".  I  had a difficult time with this one since I'm not exactly a world traveller.  I'm more of an armchair traveler.  So that's was my take on the subject of Roadtrip. When I finally settled on this idea the wheels in my brain started to turn and all of a sudden a little story wrote its self.  The result was of course another way over-the-top presentation.  I'm sure that everyone is rolling their eyes but I couldn't help it.  The story just took over.  I had to tell it.  I just couldn't keep it in. To contain my story I decided to make a little book inside Anne's altered book.  To hold it I made a pocket in the book.  You can see it above. The pocket is laced together in such a way for the book to slip into easily. Here's my explanation page text above:

Ok I'll admit it.  I'm an armchair traveler.  So I guess you're wondering what that is?

An armchair traveler is someone that rarely physically travels for one reason or another.  But we do travel. And I mean big time.  I have to confess that I am one of the best. I travel all the time.  Yeah-I know what you're thinking. So you read a book, fall asleep and have a dream.  Big whip.

But I'm here to tell you-my dreams are spectacular! Stupendous!.  I am a professional armchair traveler. If there was an armchair Olympics -I'd be a gold medalist. I'd be a contender! And I'm here to prove it to you.
For your edification and enjoyment I have recounted just one of my incredible adventures. In fact by my count it's adventure # 3,954.

So here goes. Enjoy.

My Title Page

So it all happened one dark and stormy night.  Cliche I know.  But it really was dark and stormy. Anyway I was reading my latest scif/fantsy novel firmly ensconced in my comfy armchair and somehow despite the rain and extreme winds pelting the house-I fell asleep

I awoke in the midst of a swirling tornado!  Debris from the surrounding houses was swirling around and around and I was right smack in the middle of it all.  It was kind of a rush.  It wa like riding Space Mountain at Disneyland!

I did feel bad about the neighbor's cows though.

Well I finally landed somewhere over the rainbow with frizzy hair and no comb.  I was totally disorientated.

Next thing I knew I was surrounded by a bunch of little dudes all  talking to me at once.  Through all the noise I heard something about a dead witch, her sister finding out and that I should really leave now.  I thought: what's the big deal? It's not like I dropped a house on her or anything.  But they were all very insistant.  Yes even Toto too!  So not wanting to wear out my short welcome I decided to leave. 

They pointed me to the Yellow brick road as the way out of town and I started off.  You can see my start in a way cool time lapse sequence on the opposite page.(above)

I continued to follow that silly road until I came to green hillsides and lush meadows.  It was beautiful here but weird.  I mean the houses had round doors!  Those doors must have been really expensive to replace.  It isn't like you could just hop over to Home Depot and find a new one.

Anyway-I'd  have stayed longer but some short dude with pointy ears was standing by the side of the road trying to sell a gold ring.  He must have lost his job-poor guy.  I felt bad for him and bought the ring for $50.00.  I put it on so that I didn't lose it during my travels.

I stopped just long enough to ask a nice old man in a pointy hat the directions to the next town.  I don't think he was all there because he told me to go fast and not look at the eye.



The befuddled old gentleman had directed me to a large B & B on a hill.  He said to ask for his buddy Dumbledore and I'd be well treated.

I  was finally within flying distance to the Inn when I inadvertantly ended up in the middle of some kind of sporting match.  Yikes!

I think the players were trying to catch some sort of bird or was it a key with wings?  Anyway I really got in trouble when the darned thing moved into my flight path.  I swear that what happened next wasn't my  fault.  I was trying to shoo it out of my path but I caught it instead!

Man that kid was so angry!  And everyone was yelling and swearing at me.  So I got out of there fast and didn't look back.

I flew so high and fast that I actually reached space!

Ok so about now you're wondering how I could breathe in the vacuum of space right?
I could breathe because this was my dream.  So butt out!

I had now traveled quite a distance.  I was parched .  I went from galaxy to galaxy looking for a place to relax, have and drink and put my feet up for awhile.

I finally found a great Cantina in Mos Eisley.  It was one of those little holes in the wall with real ambiance.  I sidled up to the bar to order a drink but was told that this establishment didn't serve my kind here.  Huh? I was going to argue this point but the bartender looked a little aggro.  So I just flew to a corner and pouted awhile.  I have to say that the place had a great band and that helped to chill me out a bit.

However as the night wore on things started to get a little rough.  Multiple fights broke out resulting in an actual death or two.  But it was after some old guy with a light saber cut off another guy's arm that I had had it. Not even the force could keep me there after that .

I blasted out of Mos Eisley as fast as I could go!

I felt better after I had put some distance between me and Mos Eisley.   As I dropped out of light speed I decided to cruise along on impluse power for awhile.

So there I was cruising along, singing a song and minding my own business when all forward momentum halted.

I was caught in a tractor beam!

I was pulled aboard a large vessel.  Some crazy Scotsman brought me to the captain.  He was kind of cute in a 60's sort of way.  I didn't think he was human at first but I realized that he was standing up to his waist in Tribbles!  He was irate and told me to get off of his ship.  I pointed out that my being on his ship was his own darn fault and that I would gladly leave.

 But before I left I gave him the phone number for a good spay and neuter clinic.  Man that ship was infested!

I was then taken to the transporter room.  Cool!  I had never been beamed before.

Just before the transfer the first officer walked in.  He looked familiar so I asked him if he was related to a little guy with a ring?   He showed no emotion just gave me a little hand signal as said:

Yes you guessed it:

Live long and Prosper.

My only response was : Meh-whatever.      The End

Well I suppose that if you didn't think I was crazy before you do now right?  meh-whatever.

Connie over and out!

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