Last wednesday my Altered book group had our 9th swap. This time I had Anne's book which was called "Road trip". I had a difficult time with this one since I'm not exactly a world traveller. I'm more of an armchair traveler. So that's was my take on the subject of Roadtrip. When I finally settled on this idea the wheels in my brain started to turn and all of a sudden a little story wrote its self. The result was of course another way over-the-top presentation. I'm sure that everyone is rolling their eyes but I couldn't help it. The story just took over. I had to tell it. I just couldn't keep it in. To contain my story I decided to make a little book inside Anne's altered book. To hold it I made a pocket in the book. You can see it above. The pocket is laced together in such a way for the book to slip into easily. Here's my explanation page text above:
Ok I'll admit it. I'm an armchair traveler. So I guess you're wondering what that is?
An armchair traveler is someone that rarely physically travels for one reason or another. But we do travel. And I mean big time. I have to confess that I am one of the best. I travel all the time. Yeah-I know what you're thinking. So you read a book, fall asleep and have a dream. Big whip.
But I'm here to tell you-my dreams are spectacular! Stupendous!. I am a professional armchair traveler. If there was an armchair Olympics -I'd be a gold medalist. I'd be a contender! And I'm here to prove it to you.
For your edification and enjoyment I have recounted just one of my incredible adventures. In fact by my count it's adventure # 3,954.
So here goes. Enjoy.
My Title Page
So it all happened one dark and stormy night. Cliche I know. But it really was dark and stormy. Anyway I was reading my latest scif/fantsy novel firmly ensconced in my comfy armchair and somehow despite the rain and extreme winds pelting the house-I fell asleep
I awoke in the midst of a swirling tornado! Debris from the surrounding houses was swirling around and around and I was right smack in the middle of it all. It was kind of a rush. It wa like riding Space Mountain at Disneyland!
I did feel bad about the neighbor's cows though.
Well I finally landed somewhere over the rainbow with frizzy hair and no comb. I was totally disorientated.
Next thing I knew I was surrounded by a bunch of little dudes all talking to me at once. Through all the noise I heard something about a dead witch, her sister finding out and that I should really leave now. I thought: what's the big deal? It's not like I dropped a house on her or anything. But they were all very insistant. Yes even Toto too! So not wanting to wear out my short welcome I decided to leave.
They pointed me to the Yellow brick road as the way out of town and I started off. You can see my start in a way cool time lapse sequence on the opposite page.(above)
I continued to follow that silly road until I came to green hillsides and lush meadows. It was beautiful here but weird. I mean the houses had round doors! Those doors must have been really expensive to replace. It isn't like you could just hop over to Home Depot and find a new one.
Anyway-I'd have stayed longer but some short dude with pointy ears was standing by the side of the road trying to sell a gold ring. He must have lost his job-poor guy. I felt bad for him and bought the ring for $50.00. I put it on so that I didn't lose it during my travels.
I stopped just long enough to ask a nice old man in a pointy hat the directions to the next town. I don't think he was all there because he told me to go fast and not look at the eye.
The befuddled old gentleman had directed me to a large B & B on a hill. He said to ask for his buddy Dumbledore and I'd be well treated.
I was finally within flying distance to the Inn when I inadvertantly ended up in the middle of some kind of sporting match. Yikes!
I think the players were trying to catch some sort of bird or was it a key with wings? Anyway I really got in trouble when the darned thing moved into my flight path. I swear that what happened next wasn't my fault. I was trying to shoo it out of my path but I caught it instead!
Man that kid was so angry! And everyone was yelling and swearing at me. So I got out of there fast and didn't look back.
I flew so high and fast that I actually reached space!
Ok so about now you're wondering how I could breathe in the vacuum of space right?
I could breathe because this was my dream. So butt out!
I had now traveled quite a distance. I was parched . I went from galaxy to galaxy looking for a place to relax, have and drink and put my feet up for awhile.
I finally found a great Cantina in Mos Eisley. It was one of those little holes in the wall with real ambiance. I sidled up to the bar to order a drink but was told that this establishment didn't serve my kind here. Huh? I was going to argue this point but the bartender looked a little aggro. So I just flew to a corner and pouted awhile. I have to say that the place had a great band and that helped to chill me out a bit.
However as the night wore on things started to get a little rough. Multiple fights broke out resulting in an actual death or two. But it was after some old guy with a light saber cut off another guy's arm that I had had it. Not even the force could keep me there after that .
I blasted out of Mos Eisley as fast as I could go!
I felt better after I had put some distance between me and Mos Eisley. As I dropped out of light speed I decided to cruise along on impluse power for awhile.
So there I was cruising along, singing a song and minding my own business when all forward momentum halted.
I was caught in a tractor beam!
I was pulled aboard a large vessel. Some crazy Scotsman brought me to the captain. He was kind of cute in a 60's sort of way. I didn't think he was human at first but I realized that he was standing up to his waist in Tribbles! He was irate and told me to get off of his ship. I pointed out that my being on his ship was his own darn fault and that I would gladly leave.
But before I left I gave him the phone number for a good spay and neuter clinic. Man that ship was infested!
I was then taken to the transporter room. Cool! I had never been beamed before.
Just before the transfer the first officer walked in. He looked familiar so I asked him if he was related to a little guy with a ring? He showed no emotion just gave me a little hand signal as said:
Yes you guessed it:
Live long and Prosper.
My only response was : Meh-whatever. The End
Well I suppose that if you didn't think I was crazy before you do now right? meh-whatever.
Connie over and out!